Struggling with a breakup? We’ve got you covered, from beginning to end.
Everyone wants to get over a breakup – and its different emotions – fast. But it has to come in stages.
Breakup grief has five stages: denial, psychosis, misery, affirmation, and restart.
The healing process can’t be rushed. But there are a few things you can do to make the process easier.
You can take on new hobbies, take a vacation, or binge-watch a few shows. Well, we’re not going to take you on a vacation or teach you a musical instrument. But we can recommend you a few TV series to help ease the heartbreak – one show for each stage.
1 – Denial, the first breakup grief stage, can be so UnREAL.
If the fact that the relationship is over still hasn’t sunk in yet, you’re in the first of the five breakup grief stages: denial. What you need is a tough-talking persona to help it sink in, and fast. And who better to do that than UnREAL’s Quinn, the cynical showrunner of a Bachelor-esque dating show?
UnREAL, a show about producers manipulating contestants on a reality dating show, gives anyone who’s stuck on the denial stage what they need: a hard dose of reality.
To get that dose of reality, all you have to do is watch the first episode of Season One.
UnREAL shows you ‘the one’ does not exist. It argues that the concept of true love is artificial.
Sure, this is harsh. But as author John Green says ‘Pain demands to be felt.’ (Yes, I understand the irony of quoting an author known for sappy romantic novels in a breakup article.)
The sooner you feel this pain and accept it, the sooner you’ll get through the breakup grief stages.
2 – At some point, everyone acts like a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
Realising the relationship is over can hit you hard. If you lose all rational thought and start doing things you’re not proud of, you’re in the second breakup grief stage: psychosis.
You research him obsessively online, looking up his photos on Facebook and Instagram. And before you know it, you’ve become the crazy ex-girlfriend.
But Crazy Ex-Girlfriend isn’t about stereotyping heartbroken women. It gives a more nuanced view of heartbroken women, showing the crazy things they sometimes do because they’ve invested so much of themselves in a relationship.
It’s what makes the show so relatable.
3 – There’s no such thing as a Casual breakup.
You ask yourself, “Why me?”
Why did they break up with me? Or why did I break up with them?
Let all the tears out. There’s nothing wrong with crying, especially when you’re in the third breakup grief stage: misery.
And misery loves company.
You don’t want to be anywhere near happy couples right now. You’re tired of all your friends saying it’s going to be alright.
It may get better in the future. But right now, it’s not.
The best way to deal with the misery is by watching Casual, a show about people who’ll be able to relate to what you’re dealing with now.
Casual’s characters are people who’re trying to work through their own issues. The three main characters are a recently divorced mom, a man-child bachelor, and a teenage girl. Each are pretty miserable in their own ways, trying to find something other than just casual relationships.
The show’s a reminder that even when things are hard, you’re not the only one going through an ordeal.
4 – When life gives you lemons, you turn to 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon for advice.
But at some point, you’ll need to pick up the pieces of your relationship and face life head-on. This pushes you into the fourth breakup grief stage, affirmation, where you shout, ‘Screw this! I’m single and I love it!’
The stage is about giving yourself a pep talk. And no one can give a better pep talk than 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon, a career woman who’s proud to be single.
So whenever you feel uncomfortable about being single, just read some of Liz Lemon’s quotes.
“I will marry myself.”
“I don’t need anyone. Because I can do every single thing that a person in a relationship can. Everything. Even zip up my own dress.”
“BLAMMO! Another successful interaction with a man!”
5 – Jumping Back into the Dating Pool Like an Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
So after enjoying your life as a proud, single woman for a while, you feel you’re ready to dip your toes into the dating pool again. If you feel ready – then go and dive right in!
But even when you’re already in the restart stage – the last of the five breakup stages – old wounds can reopen.
When they do, always remind yourself this: Females are strong as hell!
If Kimmy Schmidt, who was stuck in a bunker for 15 years, can see the bright side of things, then so can you. If she’s willing to explore the unfamiliar, then so can you.
So the next time you see a cute guy eyeing you, why not take the plunge and introduce yourself?
Once you’ve completed all these five stages (and their respective breakup shows), check out the list of these great romantic comedy TV series.