Is it a coincidence that some of the best movies of all time also have the best movie weapons of all time? Maybe. But maybe not. (Dun dun dun).
Yes, there’s something wildly satisfying about watching some elaborate and probably ridiculous weapon shredding everyone and everything to bits. The best movie weapons possess an ability to lift a film, not just for that viewing, but forever, elevating certain movies to iconic status.
So, without further ado, here are nine of the best movie weapons of all time.
1 – Hanzo’s Katana Samurai Sword (Kill Bill)
Hattori Hanzo crafts the very finest katana swords in the whole wide world. Uma Thurman’s The Bride is the very finest in badass samurai protagonists in the whole wide galaxy. Quentin Tarantino is (one of) the very finest movie makers in the whole wide universe. If you ask me, that’s a recipe for the best kind of disaster.
Let’s just say this: The katana sword in Kill Bill knows how to slice. In terms of blades, this is a good one. Very little stands a chance against Hanzo’s master creation.
That is, unless someone were to bring a gun to a knife fight. Which leads me to…
2 – That Machine Gun (Scarface)
“Say hello to my little friend,” says Tony Montana (Al Pacino) with one of the most iconic movie quotes from one of the most iconic movie scenes with one of the most iconic movie weapons ever.
Equipped with a rocket launcher, the Scarface machine gun is the epitome of epic gangster shit. Aided by the madness of its possessor, the weapon shoots down a small army, before cementing itself in cinema history.
3 – Chainsaw Hand (Evil Dead)
While preparing for battle against demons and other weird undead shit, Ash (Bruce Campbell) decides to make use of his stump arm by adding a makeshift weapon.
First he makes a clamp on his wrist, then he adds a motor and chainsaw blade. Finally he uses his newly formed hand weapon to saw off the end of a shotgun to complete his improvised arsenal.
This provides a perfect interlude to…
4 – Leg Machine Gun (Planet Terror)
Some movies just really make the most of missing body parts. I’m trying to work out if this is a message of optimism and support for the disabled, or just plain weird. Probably the latter.
After losing her leg early in the film, Cherry Darling (Rose McGowan) naturally decides to replace it with a machine gun/rocket launcher. Not only does it kill a bunch of baddies, but it also helps her walk.
A modern medical miracle.
5 – The Lightsaber (Star Wars)
Because obviously. Not only is the Lightsaber probably the most iconic movie weapon on this list, but it’s also probably the most elegant and downright sexy.
Oh, and it’s also just good at its job. I mean, it deflects laser beams. LASER BEAMS. Anything that has anything to do with laser anything will make it into my top lists any day of the week.
6 – Power Loader (Aliens)
Probably the most multi-purpose weapon in this list, Sigourney Weaver’s power loader can can load boxes, missiles, do leg lifts, and fight big ass queen aliens. Who needs a sword, gun, or chainsaw when you have an enormous exo-skeleton?
Essentially, this is like if humans powered-up and became super strong and could pick aliens up and throw them out of nearby airlocks. (It’s 2017, when is this happening?).
7 – Every superhero weapon
This list of the best movie weapons could very well have been filled exclusively with the cool weapons from superhero films.
Thor’s hammer fucks shit up. Captain America’s shield is insane. Wolverine’s claws are literally stored in his body and destroy everything on command – forget sleeping with a gun under your pillow.
Yes, if it’s one thing the superhero universe has given us it’s some very very badass movie weapons.
8 – The ZF-1 (The Fifth Element)
The ZF-1 has a titanium recharger, a 3000 round clip with bursts of three to 300, which with the Replay Button, the operator can fire one shot and, by pushing the Replay, sends every following shot to the same location.
It also contains a rocket launcher, an arrow launcher with exploding or poisonous gas heads, a net launcher, a flamethrower, and the “Ice Cube System.”
The ZF-1 also includes a self-destruct button, is usable ambidextrously, and breaks down into four parts for easy passage through X-Ray.
Did I forget to say that it motherfucking transforms? (Mic drop).
9 – Captive Bolt Gun (No Country For Old Men)
The Captive Bolt Pistol is a form of gun that fires a bolt into the brains of cattle to stun them before slaughter (or in the movie’s case, humans). The bolt never actually leaves the gun, rather being shot out by air and then retracted back by return springs.
It’s genuinely fucking scary. But it’s also brutishly simple. This is made all the more ominous by its owner, Anton Chirugh (Javier Bardem), who uses it with confronting apathy.
No Country For Old Men also holds another competitor for this list, with Chirugh’s sound-suppressed Remington that scared the living life out of me.
So there you have it! A list of the coolest and best movie weapons ever. Did we miss out on any? (Probably). Let us know in the comments!